goodbyes

i've converted.
sorry xangans.  i'm a LJer now

check me out at http://lifeiscinematic.livejournal.com

oh, but before you do that, let me erase some incriminating stuff.

ok, now go.

tai BO

Things i'm looking forward to right now...:

• Thursday!  and then whenever the laptop arrives.
• being able to edit videos...even just basic things.  and pictures.
• ITUNES!
• having sound for music and tv shows.
• microsoft office, in my room!
• not going to class at 8am on thursday.
• more desk space
• The outcome of this much needed conversation.  good conclusions.  truth.
• finishing this article.
• tutoring tomorrow.
• new, not ITCHY laundry detergent.
• next fall.  i know, already.  (just a little bit though.)
• summer intership.
• business breakfast next month.  (i love opportunities)
• more arrested D.
• sledding (this weekend?)
• pilates and yoga and tai bo.  maybe some treadmill/elyptical, once i organize my 'running' playlist.
• more late night conversations.
• "the turnip"
• more trusting.  more learning.  more growing.

Currently Listening Destination Failure By Smoking Popes pretty pathetic see related

do what you want, but i know who you are.

it has to be intentional.  it has to be genuine.  it has to last.

It's too often when it's late and i've thought too much.

Heading to NBC5 studios tomorrow morning at 4:30am for what i hope will be a productive college fieldtrip.  Granted, i'm going because i'm in a digital video class, but considering my interest in the news aspect, i'm praying that if it works out, i make an impression and maybe do some future job networking.  What are you laughing about? it's possible.  i'm going in with nothing to lose.

"forgot" to order a decaf...6 hours later, i'm still wide awake and i'm thinking. 
Jimmy eat world.  bless you--it's nights like these you're there when i need it.  Yeah, that sounds familiar.  [Turns out it's good for me too.]

snow arrived today, and right as i was beginning to lose hope.  YAY.  if i only i could get away/lived closer to a mountain.  haven't boarded in toooo long.  makes for yucky driving at first though. 

I've been thinking too often about dying lately.  weird?  Not fearing it, slightly intrigued actually.  not thinking about me really, [in heaven], more about what life would be like as a fly on the wall after i'm gone.  Can't figure that one out.  any ideas?

i could go on, but i'm still figuring it all out in my head and i'll save you the probable insignificance.  it's not worth reading.  it's not.
My only consistency is that I seem to be really inconsistent with reading it.  solution?---i'm far from it.

Searching for "CLARITY."

Currently Listening Clarity By Jimmy Eat World see related

trusting.

It's too late [for the tired i feel now], but my eyes will not stay shut.
not a lot of thoughts, but some.
my word for the year-- TRUST.

it's gotta happen.  i keeping losing sight, and forgetting what this life is about.  When i do, it's on a head level and not a heart level.  I gotta be on the right track before i look at others.  i haven't been this introspective in a while because i've been scared of what i'd find.  i still am. 

this'll take a while.  "yesterday is never as good as it seems."  Stop looking back!  be here, now.  Live in today, and not tomorrow and yesterday.  don't worry!

back to school.  nice, but louder than i remembered.  i got here first and claimed my space this time.
Interim tomorrow.  Digital video (cool class)  with Snooeyink (super boring prof)--or managing the job search process (potentially boring class) with Jackie M. (potentially really cool prof)??   I have to make this decision by 8:15am tomorrow.

girls are getting ready for london around me.  not my subject (art history and creative processes), but a cool trip i'm missing out on.  i'll miss marce.

i always take it the wrong way.  or take it too far.  oops.  remember to THINK FIRST.  i'll be the first to admit, i don't know.  don't assume i do.  i won't assume.  i'm being too much like myself.  what?  but yeah, bad habits.

seriously, gotta sleep.
saving this for tomorrow.  k.